Are we making a demand or responding to a factor of freedom
Well are we making a demand or responding to a factor of freedom? If I say to you, “Make yourself at home and feel free to anything in the fridge”. If you demand that I allow you to take it all to somewhere else and eat it with them instead, then that is dishonoring to the freedom I gave you.
If we take this to another level, if we demand God tell us anything we want to know, though he desires to do so, setting the demand on Him takes the intimacy or relationship out of it.
Intimacy without responsibility/covenant is a violation of trust. Intimacy as a demand outside of an invitation is a violation of privacy or could be seen as some form of rape. We can’t make demands based on rights, it has to be based on relationship with responsibility/covenant. If we have relationships without responsibility/covenant then we are opening up ourselves to being violated.
You might be asking are you talking about our relationship with God or any relationships? You might be particularly puzzled by this sentence: “Intimacy without covenant is a violation of trust”… You might be thinking “I was intimate with God even without any covenant”. And on top of this be thinking “I am often intimate with friends and don’t have any covenants with them and I don’t feel this intimacy is a violation of trust because of lack of covenant”. “So how does this work from your point of view?”, you might be asking me.
Well let’s see if I can bring any clarity here.
Is there an unspoken covenant at work?
Is your covenant/sense of responsibility shared or only perceived?
Covenant in those instances, as I see it, was there. One speaks of friends, calling them friends can be a covenant if your someone who sees friendship as honorable and not just dependent on how you feel or what you can get. The same with God, He is already in covenant with all who will receive Him in giving His Son. He keeps Himself valuable yet saves His deepest intimacy only for those who trust Him with everything. It’s not just that He holds back but real intimacy is only experienced when we are there to surrender. You can only fully understand a friend when you surrender your thoughts and perspectives to theirs. Then you can see them as they desire to be seen.
Let’s bring our relationships into the light.
Covenant doesn’t have to be spoken. There can be an unspoken covenant. The problem with these kinds of relationships/covenants is that the sense of responsibility or loyalty can be very different in the mind of those involved. The honor held to what is given can very largely. I can give thinking those receiving will treat me and what I give with honor, but those I give to might not actually be my friends and never set this kind of relationship up in their minds.
If they then take what I (with friendship in mind) have given , and use it for purposes against me or without any benefit to growing relationship with me, it’s violating this silent trust.
This kind of relationship grows deeper with trust. I have a tendency to give trust without chatting about what we are agreeing too. It’s not that we should hold back but that I feel we would benefit by bringing into the light what we are building and what kind of honor will be given to one another. This gives the freedom to share without any false presumption of what kind of relationship/covenant is in place. It’s all about perspective and what is really going on.
Sometimes that’s why it’s healthy to bring where we are in a relationship and what we are looking to build into the light of conversation before entrusting levels of intimacy. If the relationship or friendship isn’t mature enough to have that kind of conversation yet then maybe it best to wait to share certain levels of openness/intimacy till that trust has grown. Sometimes it’s as easy as sharing your peace and see if it comes back. If not then shake off the dust, let your peace come back to you and see where your peace is welcome.
What kind of open declarations of covenant are there in the Kingdom of God?
Why does God set these in place?
In our life as God’s children he sets out public declarations of our intentions for one another. He also gives guidance for violations of our intentions of unity.
One of these public declarations is baptism. Our unity might be real in our heart yet God asks up to declare it publicly in joining with Him through this act of covenant.
Another one is a wedding. This is similar to baptism but is between a man and a woman. Both are public declarations to become one and to be dead to an old like for the love of another.
What if relationships come that are in covenant but not in agreement?
Let’s look back at understanding and growing intimacy. As said before “Real intimacy is only experienced when we are there to surrender. You can only fully understand a friend when you surrender your thoughts and perspectives to theirs. Then you can see them as they desire to be seen.”
It’s not that we are going to always agree, but we need to understand were they are coming from or why they value these things. Give peace, build to build unity, show love, give honor and live in peace.